Low Self Esteem or Lack of Confidence?

It’s not uncommon to use these two terms interchangeably, and while they can and often do overlap, they are slightly different. It is possible to have low self-esteem and yet act confident (i.e., high confidence – low self-esteem). For example, many successful actors and comedians doubt their self-worth, yet have the confidence to keep performing, while others lack the confidence to perform, yet feel very secure in themselves (i.e., low confidence – high self-esteem). We can see self-confidence as the degree of confidence that you have in yourself and your ability to ‘perform’, and self-esteem as how worthy you feel you are.

What is low self esteem?

Low self-esteem is having a negative opinion of yourself, often in multiple areas (e.g., at work, as a parent, as a partner, as a friend and so on). Low self-esteem, often, but not always, stems from childhood experiences, such as an absence of attention, or praise, and / or the presence of neglect and / or abuse. If you have low self-esteem, you may have deep-seated negative beliefs about yourself, such as being fundamentally unlovable, stupid, boring, not good enough, or a failure to name a few. These beliefs feel very true to us as it’s often what we were led to believe growing up, but the truth is, they are false. Unfortunately, once these beliefs take hold, we tend to dismiss evidence to the contrary and focus on things that support the belief so it can grow in intensity over the years. Consequently, and understandably, low self-esteem can have a far-reaching negative impact on you and your life.

Do I have low self esteem?

You may have low self-esteem if several of the below resonate with you:

Symptoms of low self esteem

• I say negative things and are critical about yourself
• I joke about myself in a negative way
• I tend to focus on your negatives and overlook your achievements
• I tend to blame yourself when things go wrong
• I feel inferior to others
• I don’t feel like I deserve happiness
• I struggle to accept compliments
• I avoid challenges through fear of failure
• I feel disproportionately upset when criticised
• I feel sad, anxious, ashamed, anger and / or worthless.
• I believe I am not ‘good enough’

Online therapy and treatment for low self-esteem

There are many effective ways to overcome low self-esteem, including:  CBT, compassion- focused therapy (CFT), EMDR, PCT, and IPT. Several our online therapists are trained in these approaches and highly experienced in helping people improve their self-esteem. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you would like to arrange an initial assessment session.

You may also wish to look at our resources page for further ideas of getting help to overcome low self-esteem.

What is a lack of confidence?

A lack of confidence refers to not having confidence, or trust, in your ability to perform. It may due to past failure to perform, or because you “just have a feeling” or doubt about your ability to succeed. A lack of confidence does not necessarily mean you dislike yourself, but rather question your ability to succeed in a specific situation.

Do I have lack of confidence?

You may have lack confidence if the below resonate with you:

Symptoms of a lack of confidence

• I feel nervous anxious or on edge before and during social situations
• I avoid being the centre of attention
• I question your ability do things
• I fear judgement from others
• I struggle to ‘speak up’ in social situations
• I avoid social situations

Online therapy and treatment for low confidence

There are many evidence based effective ways to boost your confidence, including: CBT, compassion- focused therapy (CFT), EMDR, PCT, and IPT. Several our online therapists at Counselling Psychology Online are trained in these approaches and have several years’ experience in helping people improve their self-esteem. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you would like to arrange an initial assessment session.

You may also wish to look at our  resources page for further ideas of getting help.

FAQs

We commonly get asked questions about our therapy for low self-esteem and lack of confidence, so we thought it we would clear a few of these up. Here at Counselling Psychology Online, we offer online counselling, CBT and Psychology sessions for many conditions including low self-esteem and lack of confidence. For any further questions, please contact us by email [email protected]